Sucks To Be Me
by Hine no Chikyuu
Summary: More happiness from Avenue Q. This time they're singing Sucks To Be You. Characters are as follows. Mai-Bryan, Anzu-Christmas Eve, Yuugi-Kate Monster, Yami-Princeton, Jounouchi-Nicky, Honda-Rod, Noa-Gary


Hine: Well, another thing from Avenue Q.

Noa plushie: -laughs- Haha.

Yami Kyle: Hope you all like it. My Hikari worked reasonably hard on this.

Hine: …

Mai sat on the brick wall and let out a heavy sigh. Today was just not her day. Nothing had gone right, and when I say nothing, I mean nothing. Lo and behold, things were about to get worse; much Much WORSE.

Yuugi walked down the street, chipped as usual, when he spotted his friend, Mai. The first thing he noticed was that she was outside, then he noticed how depressed she seemed to be. Being the good friend that he was, he decided to cheer her up, or at least try. "Morning Mai!" he said with a smile.

"Hi Yuugi."

"How's life?"

"Disappointing," she sighed.

"Aww, what's the matter?"

"The catering company laid me off."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Yuugi replied, true concern in his voice.

"I mean, look at me! I'm ten years out of college and I always thought…" she trailed off. "No, it sounds stupid…"

Yuugi's interest was caught. " Oh, come on."

Ominous and upbeat music suddenly began. A sudden outbreak of song was unavoidable. Mai did the honors and began. "When I was little, I thought I would be-"

"What?"

"A big comedian on late night TV!"

"Yuugi pictured Mai as a stand-up comedian and giggled. "Oh…"

"But now I'm 32 and as you can see I'm not!"

"Nope!"

"Oh well."

"Mmm,"

"It sucks to be me!" she spat.

This was not what Yuugi had been anticipating. "Noo…"

"It sucks to be me,"

"No…"

"It sucks to be broke and unemployed and turning 33! It sucks to me be!"

Yuugi raised a fine eyebrow. "You think your life sucks?"

"I think so."

"You're problems aren't so bad." He crossed his arms knowingly and sang. "I'm kinda pretty, I'm pretty damned smart!"

"You are!" Mai agreed.

"I like romantic things like music and art!" Cue the big, starry eyes. "And as you know I have a gigantic heart so why… don't I have a boyfriend! FUCK! It sucks to be me! It sucks to be me-"

"It sucks to be me. It sucks to be Mai-san –"

"And Kate!" Yuugi sang.

"To not have a job!"

"To not have a date!"

"It sucks to be me!" The last they sang in unison.

Mai blinked, finally realizing just what Yuugi had said his name was. "Kate?"

"Um… it rhymed?"

"…yeah… sure."

Suddenly they heard arguing coming their way. They knew it had to had to be Honda and Jounouchi by the things they were hearing.

"…I'll leave at 11:30 and come home when I want to! You're not my mother, Honda!"

Mai cut them off. "Hey, Honda, Jou, can we ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Certainly."

Yuugi broke in with, "Who's life sucks more: Mai-san's or mine."

The answer came simoltaniously from the two. "Tch, ours!"

"We live together!" Honda began.

"We're close as people can get." Jou stated.

"We've been the best of buddies-" Honda was cut off.

"Ever since the day we met!"

"So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset! Oh every day us an aggravation!"

"Come on that's an exaggeration!"

Mai and Yuugi stood silently watching. They both knew it would be a death wish to break up the two when they were having one of their "lovers spats" as Mai liked to call them.

Honda snorted, singing again. "You leave your clothes out. You put your feet on my chair!"

"Oh yeah!" Jou shouted, somewhat offended. "You do such anal things like ironing your underwear!"

Giggling came from the two bystanders. Honda seethed. The giggling understandably stopped. "You make that very small apartment we share a hell!"

"So do you! That's why I'm in hell too!"

"It sucks to be me!" Honda cried.

"No! It sucks to be me!" Jou sang.

Yuugi's turn now. "It sucks to be me!"

Mai, brought up the rear. "It sucks to be me!"

They all came together to create a harmony of suckiness, so to speak. "Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be! It sucks to be me…" the music continued to play as they trailed off momentarily. It was still a rather cheery and upbeat tune, despite the words they were singing. Out of sheer instinct, they began to dance when Anzu walked up to them. She had recently moved from Japan and had not yet fully grasped English pronunciation. "Why you all so happy?" she inquired. She was very surprised when she saw her fiancé, Mai, singing and dancing with her three best friends; very odd indeed.

It was Jou finally gave her an answer. He grinned saying, "'Cause our lives suck!"

She stared, incredulous. "You think your lives suck? I healing you collectly? HA!" The singing began once more. "I coming to this country for opportunities. Tly to work in Korean deri, but I am Japanese! But with hard work I earn two masters degrees in sociar work! And now I a thelapist! But I have no crients! And I have an unemproyed fiancé! And we have LOTS OF BLLS TO PAY! It suck to be me! It suck to be me! I say it sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-suck! It suck to be me!"

"Hey, uh, excuse me?" came a voice from behind her. She turned around to see a man maybe three or four inches shorter than herself. The strangest thing was his almost uncanny resemblance to Yuugi. The only differences were in the eyes and hair, and even still it was hardly noticeable. The new man had crimson flame eyes when Yuugi's were those of a warm violet. His bangs were also more spiky than Yuugi's. He spoke again. "I'm looking for someplace to live. Can ya help me?"

Anzu raised a fine eyebrow. "Why you looking all the way out here?"

"Well, I started out on Avenue A but so far everything's been out of my price range, but this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper."

Jou and Yuugi laughed. It was true, Avenue Q WAS cheap but at least it had character, right? Mai nodded in agreement. "You need to talk to the superintendent. Hang on, lemme get him for you."

"Thanks!"

"YO! NOA!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming.."

Honda eyed the man. "By the way, while we're waiting for Noa to get his ass down here, what's your name?"

"I'm Yami."

Honda nodded in acceptance, then turned to smirk seeing Noa walking towards them. He tapped Yami on the shoulder causing him to jump in surprise. As he regained his senses, he realized who it was who stood in front of him. "OH MY RA! YOU'RE KAIBA NOA!"

"Yes I am." The music began. "I'm Kaiba Noa, the product of a hoax. I had a lot of money, then was run over by a Volks! Now I'm dead and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes but I'm here- the superintendent! Of Avenue Q!"

"It sucks to be you!" everyone laughed.

"You win!" cried Yuugi with joy.

"It sucks to be you!" All of them.

"I feel better now." Mai sighed with content.

Noa, now being sick of this, cut them off. "Try having people stopping you to ask you, 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ALIVE!' …it gets old."

They all blinked, then they shrugged, then they decided none of this made much sense anyway and went on with their singing. "It sucks to be you! On Avenue Q- sucks to be me on Avenue Q- sucks to be us but not when we're together! We're together here on Avenue Q, we live on Avenue Q, our friends do too. 'Til our dreams come true, we'll live on Avenue Q!"

Yuugi laughed. "This is real life!"

"We live on Avenue Q…"

Jou grinned, resting his arm on Yuugi's head. "You're gonna love it."

"We live on Avenue Q…"

"Here's the keys." Noa smirked while handing Yami a set of junky, dirty keys. In response, Yami cringed.

"Welcome to Avenue Q!" they small smirked rather sadistically at Yami, who, in response sighed and watched them all walk away and back into their apartments.

"Hey man, don't worry about it. We're not that bad." Jou said, being the only one who hadn't left yet. After all, he'd have to go back to Honda.

"Yeah… thanks…"

"Oh yeah, one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Yuugi's been looking for a boyfriend. Maybe you should look into it." He winked and then walked back into his apartment.

"Maybe I will…" Yami mused, smiling.

Hine: That's it, hope you like it. Review please.

Yami Kyle: Yeah, we're doing this during our lunch period so we can't really talk.

Noa plushie: -nodnod-


End file.
